So New Idea, Time that I stop caring about a few things and focus on others right now. Life likes to throw... I won't say Curve balls, but I will say Change ups. Right as I'm expecting one thing, I get just a slight change in what happens. I'm not doing BAD right now, schools going good, classes are going good, I'm getting better at my art, I'm starting to realize my calling... but putting ALL that aside I'm still a bit upset at a lot of things. Mostly the Fact that I have felt really... disbanded lately. And I think slowly its starting to take its tole on my self esteem and wants. I feel like, how I put it a few days ago (Warning Odd Analogy Up Ahead) I feel like a Pool Toy laying outside on the grass outside one of those kiddy blow up pools. I'm Sad that I'm not being used in the water, doing what I'm made for. But in the same breath I'm glad I'm Not being swung at some kids head repeatedly. I know its an odd way to think about things but its the best way I could describe my feelings in this current situation. I think for a while I need to just, for lack of a better word, Calm the Fuck down. I might be over thinking this entire thing, over analyzing everything to death.. that wouldn't be the first time. But its not like The people I have been with caused it.. its all the little situations one after another, after another, after another. They really take there tole one a guy, and it hurts really bad. I guess what I'm trying to say is I don't know what I'm going to do right now, or if there really is a problem at all.




So I'm still working on my Project And right now, I am sitting in the computer lab thinking of what I need to do, and what I shouldn't do.